Dammit…

Hiya peeps,

Well since my first blog was a smashing success *sarcasm*, I have decided to post another.  I have to give G credit for making this blog.  I had nothing to do with it.  I have about as much patience as I do attention span, and if u know me, then u know that its not much. 

Betty had to tell me what to click on to post, what to click on to type, and my addy for the blog.  She was also clever enough to put categories for me.  Wanna hear’em??? Sure ya do.

 Category 1:  Betty hurts herself again.

• now this will prolly be a very popular category.  She seems to do that all the time.  She’s was once running from a bird and ran into the wall.  The wall splattered her nose across her face.  To bad I didn’t witness that.  Damn birds!  Damn walls! 
• Then there was the time she decided to capture my attention while dancing to “you can leave your hat on.”  Well that went ok until she decided to swing her leg over a kitchen chair attempting to straddle it, kicked the dog across the room with a 6 inch heel.  Now Al your saying, She didn’t hurt herself in that story, she hurt the dog.  Well true the weiner went one way and in her attempts to view the damage, she forgot about the massive heels and proceded to stumble the entire lenght of the house.

Category 2:  Betty hurt ME again.

• This will prolly be the most popular category.  Just for the record, that is where dammit woman came into play.  That is the first words from my lips when she injures me.  “DAMMIT WOMAN”

 Category 3:  Everything Else

• I didn’t realize there was anything else.

 Category 4:  Stupid stuff that only I care about

• That hurts me Betty.  Ya see I have what I would like to think is a fairly large doll collection.  I collect movie maniac dolls.  Ya know Freddy, Jason, Chucky, Donnie Darko, etc…   I prolly have close to 100.  Yes, I tend to show them to EVERYBODY.  Hey, they like’em.  They ask me questions about them, so I proudly answer them.  What does she do while I am chit chatting?  Rolls her eyes, sighs, yawns, rolls her eyes some more.  See the pattern here? 

Category 5:  The dog did something cute

• All day long I could write about my dog.  I love my dog.  She’s my side kick, my buddy, my friend.  Everything she does is cute.  She makes every step I make.  She looks at me and smiles.  Now what is not cute about that.

Well peeps, there they are my categories.  I bet you really wanted to know about them.  I am tired now.  And about to rip my lungs out if I don’t quit hiccupping.  Dammit!!!

Later

Greetings

HEAR YE HEAR YE…

Hiya peeps!!! Allow me to introduce myself. Tis’ I, the wrong side of the story. I feel as though I owe several explanation on my username and blog title. I shall begin with the username. If you look at the upper left hand side of your screen *ya just did didn’t ya* you will notice my blogspot name. Yes, it does say swee the rat. Now, where in the hell would one come up with such a name…think real hard now…who could have came up with that name….anybody…anybody…*whistles*…*taps fingers*…DING DING DING….yup, Baby G.

I’m sure the curiosity has gotten the best of you wanting to know where it came from. Well ya see, before baby G moved in with me, we talked ALL THE TIME on-line. And yes, alcohol was involved on both ends of the computers. Well, G goes to call me sweetheart, but because of all the absolute, it came out sweetherat. I guess it just kinda stuck. Gaurandamntee that NOBODY else in the universe has that for a little “cute pet” name. But this is the same person that, when was trying to hit on other chics online, promised to pray for their lips *don’t ask*.

So alas, the birth of my name. Sweetherat. Sounds so trusting doesn’t it. So innoncent, pure, and delightful. However I am lucky, she did shorten the name for me. I am known simply as swee. Guess it beats the hell outta rat.

Now lets get to the blog name. Dammit woman!!! I really don’t think you peeps would even understand how many time that phrase parts from my lips a day. If I had a dime for everytime I have spoken that phrase, I would be laying on my own island havin’ bud lights and ameretto sours ALL DAY long. I would buy my own personal ooompa looompas to bring me my drink and and sing me a song as they delivered my beverages.

“OOOMPA LOOOMPA DOOOPADIDOOO, I’ve got another beverage for you. OOOMPA LOOOOOMPA DOOOPADADEEE, If you are wise you’ll stay off your feet. What do you do when your femme is unstable, running into every chair, desk, and table. Falling off chairs, stools, beds, and the can. YOU WOULD YELL YOU WOULD YEEEEELL YOU WOULD YEEEEEEEEEEELLLL DAMMIT DAMMIT WOOOOOOOOOMAN.

Sorry, I kinda have a tendency to get a little side tracked everyonce in a while, just overlook that. Back to the title. I am gonna list a few reasons why dammit woman seems to be my motto.

• While helping a friend hang wall paper, G and I was measuring the paper to cut it. Her only responsibilty was to walk to the other end of the paper, and hold the tape measure. My fault. There was 2 consecutive steps for her to complete the task….walk and hold. She accomplished the walking part, but kinda forgot the holding the tape measure. Needless to say, I walked around for a couple days with a slash between my eyes. That my friends warranted a “dammit woman”
• While laying in bed after along days work, we took the light bulb outta the lamp for some reason *due to the tramatic evens that followed, I seem to have forgotten the reason*. Anyway, this was a hundred watt bulb and I unscrewed it and told her it was hot. She grabbed the bulb from my hand and stuck into my chest and made this “HISSSSSSSSSS” sound as it burned into my flesh. I walked around with GE branded into my chest for a week. As far as Baby G, there was a look of suprise that came across her face as I yelled. That my friends warranted a dammit woman.

I think that is enough for now, hell, you peeps have prolly got tired of reading along time ago.

LATER